


Cupid Flying Blind

by burning_nova



Series: Kinkmeme Fills [33]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Hulk is lonely, M/M, Multi, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-03
Updated: 2013-11-03
Packaged: 2017-12-31 08:10:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1029342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/burning_nova/pseuds/burning_nova
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Thor decides that the Hulk would make a fine companion for some lucky warrior, and keeps trying to set him up with various Asgardians."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cupid Flying Blind

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/17385.html?thread=39360489#t39360489

**Sif**  
  
Sif looked at her dress one last time in the mirror, her heart beating strongly against her chest. Thor had asked to meet that eve dressed in her finest dress. The tone had suggested something of the romantic nature and she licked her reddened lips.   
  
Had he moved past that mortal?   
  
She strolled past the fields to the pasture where he had told her to meet. She spotted the meal set out under the branches of a great tree. She walked, delicately, to the spot and sat, waiting. Moments passed and Sif waited.   
  
Where was Thor?  
  
“Sif!” Thor called. Sif stood and turned quickly, feeling the wind twirl the skirt of her dress. The smile blossoming on her face halted as she caught sight of her prince followed by a giant green half-dressed being. She believed that creature was the Hulk, one of his Avengers.   
  
Why was he here?   
  
“Yes?” She asked cautiously. Thor beamed, and she felt her pulse quicken. Perhaps the creature was merely passing through and had distracted Thor from meeting her.   
  
“Meet my good companion, the Hulk.” He turned to the Hulk. “Hulk, my shieldsister Sif.”  
  
The creature stared at her with beady eyes. “HULK HUNGRY.”   
  
“And I promised you a feast did I not?”   
  
He bade them to sit and eat. Sif attempted a conversation but the creature grunted or replied in short bursts of speech. Thor excused himself to retrieve more drink for one instant. Sif made awkward conversation for a moment until they lulled into silence.   
  
At last all the food was done. Thor had not returned.   
  
“HULK LEAVE.” The being said. “PUNY GOD PRETTY. TALK TOO MUCH.” And leapt away. She spotted Thor calling after him.   
  
She looked at the remains of her meal, grabbed a pastry and hunted down her prince. 

* * *

  
**Fandral**  
  
Fandral grabbed another flask and tried to drive himself into a drunken stupor. He was known for his reputation with women and sexual relationships but that-. Thor had not even attempted to ease him into that.   
  
Joining him in a bath at a spring only to be confronted by a giant, naked green behemoth? There were limits Fandral would not even cross and his pruned fingers were proof enough of it. 

* * *

  
**Hogun**  
  
“HULK.”   
  
“Hogun.”   
  
That was the extent of all conversation for that date. 

* * *

  
**Cup Bearing Servant**

  
“My lord?”   
  
“You are having troubles with slights, are you not?”  
  
“No, my lord.”  
  
“Loki has turned your cups into snakes how often?”  
  
“I suppose you may consider those troubles, my lord, but I do not. His highness was a trickster, is a trickster.”  
  
“But how would you like those to cease?”  
  
“What do you propose my lord?”   
  
“Allow me to make an acquaintance with my friend, whom I am sure would-“  
  
“HULK BORED.”  
  
“AH!”   
  
“He hath fainted. I am sorry dear, Hulk, I was certain he would have been the one.” 

* * *

  
**Loki**  
  
“PUNY GOD.”   
  
“Guards! Take me back to my cell! Guards!”   
  
“Brother, wait! Hear me out!”   
  


* * *

  
**Heimdall**  
  
“Heimdall-“  
  
“No.”  
  
“You do not even know-“  
  
“No.” 

* * *

  
**Odin:**  
  
Odin stared at the green man in front of him bemused. Frigga was away on business and his son offered to take over a few duties so he could seek repose. When he had suggested the companionship of another…Odin had thought his son understood he had needs.   
  
Being pounded into the ground did not meet one of those needs. Though he was rather alarmed to after his son asked him how well he enjoyed his date. For did it look as though he had had a good time in his scuffed armor and dented pride? 

* * *

  
**Volstagg and Wife:**  
  
“Thor!” Volstagg called.   
  
“Yes?” Thor asked as he looked at his beaming friend.   
  
“I wish to thank you.”  
  
“For? I cannot recall what it would be-“  
  
“Do not be so humble, Thor. It suits you not. You know for what I speak of.” He patted him heartily on the back. “Hulk of course, and likewise his opposite Banner.”  
  
“Hulk?”  
  
“Yes. He is quite the addition my beloved and I were looking for. I thought you were merely humoring me when you listened to my marital troubles but then you introduced us to this Hulk. We couldn’t have worked out better! Thank you my friend, thank you!”   
  
Thor just stared bemused and then utter horror as the images of Hulk, Volstagg, and his wife flashed through his mind. 


End file.
